The Obligatory New Year's Day Post: 2018 Edition

I have never been a big believer in New Year's resolutions. Perhaps it is the chore of finding weaknesses and personal blind spots I dislike or maybe it is the feeling of failure I am prone to feel when I don't lose the weight, miss a day at the gym and don't learn to speak Mandarin. I am not alone in this feeling. A meager eight percent of people who set New Year's resolutions actually achieve them. What about the other 92% of us? What are we to do?

Instead resolutions, I have spent the last few New Year's Days thinking of the past, finding ways to be grateful, and setting intentions and hopes for the coming year. This year, I have decided to share them with you. 2017 wasn't easy for anyone but there were golden nuggets sprinkled around like glitter at a gay club. Here are some of my reasons to be thankful:

Thank You, 2017

I Was Recognized by EqualityMaine

I have been volunteering with EqualityMaine since I moved to Maine in 2012. My first experience with the organization was canvassing door-to-door to encourage people to vote "yes" for marriage equality on the ballot, an initiative Mainers supported. Since then, I have helped plan two Galas, a Halloween party, marched in a Pride parade with them and answer anytime they call.

This year, I was flattered to receive the Out-Front Leadership Award, an honor that touched me. EQME does the vital work needed to protect the rights of the LGBT community in Maine and accepting this award was one of the most meaningful honors of my life. I look forward to working with them in 2018 and beyond.

I Raised $1,500 for Charity

I love a challenge and I have a hard time backing down. This became evident over the summer when I was asked to help raise money for the Barbara Bush Children's Hospital. Long story short, there was a dunk tank, my former CEO, and a challenge to raise $1,000. I (with the help of my colleagues) crushed this goal and put the entire leadership team in a dunk tank.  

I Became an Uncle

One of the greatest things to happen in 2017 was the birth of my beautiful niece Morgan. She came into this world over the summer and has captured the hearts of all who meet her. She is a delightful, happy, and curious little girl and I am so excited to watch her grow

Becoming an uncle was by far my happiest moment all year. Despite the chaos of daily life, when you look in the eyes of a baby you see and feel things differently. 

I Ran My First 10K

I have never been a stellar distance runner, I've never been much of a runner at all. As a kid, I had my first panic attack when I was in elementary school and was told I had to run a mile as part of my grade. I knew it wouldn't be easy I'm built like a refrigerator and running just wasn’t in my cards. I can still remember the fear and terror I felt that morning on the bus when I realized there are cows that run faster than me.

This all changed over the summer when I ran my first Beach to Beacon 10K. It was a daunting challenge, but out of sheer will and stubbornness, I pulled through. I finished the race in 56 minutes and 28 seconds and have never felt such a rush in all my life as I did; sprinting across the finish line to my friends greeted me with a celebratory gin and tonic.

I (Finally) Started a Blog!

This has been a long time coming but I couldn't be happier with myself. Writing, cooking, and storytelling are some of my passions and this blog will become my space to share with the world (or scream into the void, whatever).

I Got the Help I Needed

Of all the things I am celebrating today, the most important thing I did for myself in 2017 was to admit that I have problems I cannot solve on my own. I have a past with depression and anxiety and after years of struggling, I finally asked for help. After months of work with a professional, I am happier and stronger than ever.

Mental health is vital and must be taken seriously. I love my life, I love my family and I love living, sometimes it is hard and sometimes it is cruel, but we must carry on.

If you or someone you know needs help, do not hesitate to reach out. Here are resources to help.

Hello, 2018

2017 was a hell of a year for me but here is what I'm looking forward to in 2018

Running My First Half Marathon

Competition runs deep in my veins. It is a genetic disposition my sister and I inherited from our parents. As I mentioned above, I ran my first 10K last year and now I'm hooked on distance running. It has gone from the cause of great heartache and stress to a sacred and cherished time for me to be alone with my body and thoughts. This spring, I'm running the Shipyard Maine Coast Half Marathon. I don't expect to win or even come close to winning but I do intend to cross that finish line and look forward to crushing this personal goal.

Turning 30

Sometimes I dread the thought of getting older. One of the things I worked on with my therapist was forgiving myself for not being everything I wanted to be when I was a kid. I've always been ambitious and a big dreamer and from a young age, I set the bar high for myself and have beaten myself up for not reaching my goals. Instead of considering this a moral and personal failure, I have opted to look at things differently. First and foremost, I'm only turning 30 and there are plenty of examples of people who found their passion later in life.

Now, rather than saying I'll never be something because I'm not that now, I simply say "it hasn't happened, yet". That last word is vital because putting arbitrary expiration dates on things causes so much unnecessary stress that it often leads to inaction. So what if I'm not a celebrity chef yet, Julie Child didn't even know how to cook until she was in her mid-30s and she died one of the culinary worlds most exalted heroes. All good things are worth the wait. 

Getting Married

In 256 days, I am marrying the kindest and most loving man I know. Anthony and I are an anomaly of the gay-dating world in that we met on Grindr, fell in love almost immediately and have been together ever since. Our relationship is not perfect, but it is perfect for us and exchanging vows in front of our family and friends will surely be one of the happiest days of our lives.

My friend, Cody Barry, took this photo (and more). Check out his work here.

So there you have it. My reflection on 2017 and my hopes for 2018. Whatever your goals and aspirations are, I hope you reach them.